Groucho Marx was sworn in today as the new Secretary of Labor. Although the once dead actor has no background in labor, the president stands by Marx's appointment.
"Actually," said the president, "I wanted Karl Marx. He would have been the obvious choice. So I got in touch with this government lab in the area that can take dead people and breath new life into them. The scientists at the lab are great. Strom Thurmond refered them to me.
Anyway, I ordered them to dig up the body of Karl Marx and bring him back to life. Well, I was on a cell phone at the time, and due to the static,the scientists thought I said Groucho Marx instead of Karl. When they brought Groucho to me, he was so excited about being alive again and being Secretary of Labor that I didn't have the heart to tell him that he was the wrong guy."
When asked to comment on the president's story, Groucho offered no comment, but he did roll his eyes and tap his cigar.