In a bold move that will
leave enviroweanies crying
to their mammies, the
president signed an
executive order calling
for the immediate slashing
and burning of all of the
nations national parks and
wildlife refuges. "This is
a bold step toward
increasing the space
available to build useful
things like mini-malls and
Starbucks shops," the
president said in a brief
address. The address, held
outside, was called off
before the president could
conclude it because acid
rain began to fall on the
area.