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Murphy Announces First Lady Search
The president announced from the Press Room Tuesday that he has decided to commence a searce for his First Lady. Since coming
to the White House, the president has been single, but he hopes to change that. "Today, I put out the call to ALL women
in America. When I say all, however; I mean only good looking women. Good loking women between the ages of 18 and 22. Good
looking between the ages of 18 and 22 that are no taller than 5 foot 5."
Although Press Secretart John Rocker
has called the president the worlds most eligable bachelor, not many women have come foreward to date the president. Since
Tuesday's announcement, however; women have lined up outside of the White House gates to send in their applications for the
job of First Lady. Applicants are interviewed by Attorney General Johnny Cochran who takes a picture of all of them. The applications
of the women that the attorney general thinks meets the president's criteria are then sent to Chief Of Staff Bill O'Reilly
for a final "Skank Elemination" process. All applicants who are not eleminated are then interviewed by the president,
himself. All applicants must be willing to perform the duties of First Lady, be seen with the president at public functions
and matters of State, and anything else that the president asks of her.
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