The following is a post election statement made by President Murphdawg on Wednesday, November 6, 2002.

"My fellow Americans, the votes have been counted. The decisions have been made. You chose to be led by the Republican Party for at least two more years, and we're ready to turn this motha' out!"

(Parliament/Funkadelic begins to play in background as Congressional Republicans appear behind the president waring party hats and drinking beer)

"Keep in mind that the Republican Party is not gloating. We are merely thanking you for voting for our fine team. We will do our best for the next two years to make sure no child is left behind, and that our country is united rather than divided."

(Strom Thurmond shuffles into the room drinking from a bottle with three X's drawn on the label. He then lets out a rebel yell and passes out.)

"That's right, Strom, party like you're back at Antietam beating back those Yankees! In conclusion, we want to thank you from the bottom of our black little hearts for giving us back the U.S. Senate."

(Sounds of something crashing to the floor)

"Thank you. God bless you, and God bless America. (to Republicans in the room) Hey, who's the best damn president there ever was?"

Republicans: "You are!"