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| America's first Secretary of Homeland Security |
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| The HonorableOsama bin Laden |
In an extremely bold move, the president appointed Saudi Arabian Osama bin Laden as the first head of the newly created Department
of Homeland Security. "Osama has shown over time to be a responsible, well-respected fellow. He may look different than
us, but I know in my heart that this is the right man to be the head of our nation's war against terror."
Although
bin Laden is not American by birth, and therefore, not eligable for the presidnetial line of succession, it is perfectly
legal for the Saudi born millionaire to head up a Cabinet department.
The president spoke fondly of bin Laden during a
Friday press conference. "Osama's a great guy. He's really spiritual, and is always praying. Oh, and you've got to hear
him go on about his buddy Allah. It's always 'Allah this' and 'Allah that.' I need to get Osama to invite that guy over to
the White House one day. I'd love to meet him. That Allah must be one heck of a guy." Bin Laden takes office Monday.
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