With war on the horizon, terror threats are coming fast and furious. One
person who doesn't notice is Homeland Security secretary Captain AWOL.
Although terror groups are making threats, the terror threat color code
implemented last year remains at the safest possible level. When asked
why the lever hasn't been raised, Secretary AWOL commented that he,
"..didn't feel like raising the color code." When asked whether or not
he thought the threats were credible, he replied, "Oh, they're real,
alright. I just didn't feel like doing the paper work involved with
raising the threat alert color code." The secretary then went home,
stating that he didn't feel like giving an interview.