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$3.50 Introduced

In a ceremony today, Treasury Secretary Damn Loch Ness Monster introduced the new $3.50 bill to the American public. The bill, which will be known as the "Tree-fitty," has been on the drawing board ever since the president saw the Damn Loch Ness monster begging people for "tree-fitty" on the Comedy Central documentary South Park. It features a picture of President Murphdawg giving the thumbs up on the front. The back of the bill features a picture of Secretary Damn Loch Ness Monster with his hand held outward while he begs for money. The $3.50 bills will go into circulation sometime in November. "From this momsnt on," stated Damn Loch Ness Monster, "when I beg people for 'tree-fitty' they will be able to pay me in one, single bill. That will be mighty convenient." Secretary Damn Loch Ness Monster concluded the press conference by asking Wolf Blitzer if he could borrow tree-fitty.

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