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The president returned to the White House today after spending the last 7 months at the Betty Ford Center to battle his various
addictions. The president seemed eager to return to the work that he was elected to do. Speaking to reporters upon his arrival
back, the president asked, "How goes the war?" The president was then informed that the war with the Republic of
Tea has raged on for the last 7 months. While the president expressed concern for the fact that the conflict had not yet been
won, he was excited by the prospect of being commander in chief of a military which is at war.
President Murphdawg answered
questions from the press during a brief ceremony. When asked if he had any fear that the country would go to hell in a handbasket
without his stewardship, the president expressed his confidence in his Cabinet and Vice President T. "I knew that with
Mr. T. at the healm of our great ship of state, that we would pull through any crisis that might befall us. Mr. T. is helluva
tough, and I knew that he could have dealt with any suckas that tried to mess with the U.S.
When asked about his time
at the rewhab clinic, the president refused to say very much. He did say however, that he left due to the fact that recent
admittee to the clinic,Rush Limbaugh, was, "stinking up the joint," with his projectile vomiting. "That's when
I knew," the president stated,"that it was time to return to the work I was elected to do."
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