
Just seconds before the president launched nuclear weapons at Jim Haslett's Rocky Mountain hideout, he was informed by MTV's
Ashton Kutcher that he had been punked. "I had to let him in on the secret at that moment," said Kutcher. "If
I didn't, he was going to launch nukes at a hideout that existed on an MTV sound stage and not the Rocky Mountains."
While the president was on the phone with Strategic Air Command in Nebraska, Kutcher rushed into the Oval Office. "Mr
President," Kutcher said, "I'm Ashton Kutcher, and you've been punked!" At that point, Jim Haslett and Mike
Ditka walked into the room; their faces red with laughter. "Wow," the president said while pointing at Ditka, "I
was about to have you tortured to gather more information about Haslett's plans." Ditka just patted the president on
the back while doubling over at the hilarity of it all. "Mr. President," Haslett said, "I just want to assure
you that the AFC is alive and well. It was all an elaborate hoax." The president just laughed while shaking his head
in disbelief. "I can't believe it. I was punked! This is the best MTV hoax since the Tom Green Anthrax sacare."
Soon after, the president had Kutcher executed.
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