Satellite recon photos have alerted the government to the whereabouts of the evil Jim Haslett. The coach of the Saints has been located at a compound built into a portion of the Rocky Mountains. Rather than risk the lives of military and federal law enforcement personnel, the president has decided to prepare the nations nuclear arsenal. "I will use one of our many ICBMs to destroy the Haslett compound and save the AFC," the president said in a televised speech. FEMA agents are frantically working to evacuate the towns near the site of the Haslett compound, so that innocents are not harmed by the blast or the subsequent radiation. The president is hurrying FEMA along, though; because he wants to get Haslett before the coach has a chance to escape again.